by Uncle Roy Yelverton of

I passed yer motor-home on th’ road today.
You glanced over at me, but I looked away.
I rode on a Softail; smokin’ th’ road.
You sat behind that wheel like a big tattooed toad.
There was no glass or wipers in front of my eyes.
Only wind-rush, and wide open skies.

Behind your ‘condo’ on a flatbed, sat Harleys, a bunch.
wonna be a biker? Hell, you don’t have a hunch.
You’re a bike OWNER, dude! So settle for that.
Get yerself a ‘rally’ T-shirt, an’ another ‘rally’ tatt!

Buy a hokey-ass pin, ta show th’ world you were there.
Look stoopid snappin’ pictures of T!TS th’ chicks bare.
So what, the whole trip you never tasted the air.
That you came all the way in a big steel cage;
Biker poser; seeking only to share the stage.

At least buy me a beer while yer invadin’ muh space.
I don’t mean to be curt, but yer kinda in my face.
As if being with us can make you like us.
Here’s news fool, it never will work.
Jus’ hang around the edges where you belong,
An’ try not to come off like a trailer-trash jerk.

I can’t deny it’s confusin’ to me, and I can’t pretend to hide it.
Ya spend a pile for a motorsickle; an’ spend a BIGGER pile to NOT ride it?
Don’t’ bore me with no lame-ass rap, about WHY ya had to haul.
I never yet heard an excuse that held water, and I think I’ve heard ‘em all.

Listen, Chad; I rode all the way from nowhere; fought the heat, cold, and rain.
You bravely challenged the elements, in a rolling motel chain.
So, do yer fifty miles of profilin’, then haul back to yer garage.
Turn on th’ golf channel, ‘n order in for a massage.

Put yer scooter aside ‘till the next, ‘Bike Week’
You think you’ve seen the People?
Think you understand the culture?
I hate ta bust yer bubble RUB, but YOU didn’t get a peek!

It’s not me ta go all elitist here, but sometimes I wonna scream!
Here’s a little philosophy for free; “It’s harder to BE, than to SEEM!
You say it’s not my bidness how you got here?  At least on that we agree.
No man can tell another man what to do, that’s the easiest rule to see.

No, as a biker I fully accept, it’s not my bidness what you do.
What’s pissin’ me off, is you’re makin’ people think maybe I tow my bike TOO!